I am preparing for a new series on relationships and I have two questions for my research. Please help!
1. What are the top friendship killers? What sabotages a friendship?
2. When times were tough for you personally, what did friends do that really made a difference in your life?
urbanfoot 
1. Friendship, needs a definition which is rooted in Biblical understanding. If I am to understand friendship it should be from examples given to us by the inspired Word of God. If our relationships, friendships, are to reflect that of Christ, they should be ground in personal sacrifice, even suffering, love, compassion, and service to our neighbor. David and Jonathan come to mind when I think of friendship in scripture. These men submitted to one another in love, and served each other as brothers even though they should have been enemies with each other. There should be nothing, in a Christian friendship, that causes us to break fellowship with one another, if we are truly born again. For if our brother sins against us we are to go to him in love, and if he hears us we have won him over. If not, we go to him again with another, and if he will not hear us, he is brought to the church. If they still will not repent, then he is in sin and we are treat him as an unbeliever. Fellowship should only be broken when a brother remains in sin, unwilling to be reconciled to God and the body of Christ. Christ says that true love is this, “That we would lay down our lives for another.” But ultimately our hope of true fellowship does not lie with man, but it lies in our unbreakable relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, with whom “there is no turning of shadow.”
2. The greatest things friends have done for me is to point me to the Word of God. Although many of them cared for my physical needs as well, the greatest thing they did was offer me comfort in the words of our Lord. For in suffering and trials we can know that not only will they produce joy in the true believer, but that they are a gift from God and for our growing in righteousness and being conformed to the image of Christ, the purpose of God in the life of all true believers. (Romans 8:28-29; Philippians 1:29, James 1:2-3)
1. Top friendship killers: poor communication and deceit
Sabotages to friendship: lack of reciprocation, lack of appreciation, jealousy
2. Simply being there to listen (very difficult to find such true friends these days).
Hey thank ‘roni. Hope you are doing well!
JJ! Great to hear from you. Thanks for the help!
Hi Craig.
# 1 friendship killer is selfish ambition, or agenda’s. Anytime we embark on a relationship with selfish motives guiding our actions we stunt our ability to both minister and be ministered to in that aspect of our lives.
2.Kindness. any form of it. whether it was giving of their time, finances, or smiles, every act of kindness was in direct contrast to how I was perceiving my situation in the world and my opinion of how much God loved me. And when times are “tough” for us, how we cope with it is based largely on what our definition of what “tough” is, so a change of perspective is always the beginning of healing.
Thanks Lara!
1. sometimes it depends on what kind of friendship there is: 1) woman-woman; 2) man-man; 3) woman-man;
jealosy and competion that’s for the 1st one; sometimes sex for the 3rd one; for the 2nd one selfishness; disrespect.
2.trying to help me out in different ways, calling me asking if I need something; coming up with ways to make me forget sometimes about the problems I’m having.
1. poor communication, deceit, selfishness, not thoughtful, abusing the friendship, not caring, becoming angry and retaliate without full knowledge.
2. Friends, tried to give me advice, support, help, … but, choosing which friend is right is very hard, but you should believe in the wise ones that follow Jesus, and believe in jesus and ask for his help (because he is the only one that can really help you)
Thanks Eugene!
Thanks for your input!
Craig, I think busyness is a relationship killer. I think most people these days don’t make time for friends. Working and family is all most people will make time for.
Also, shallow relationships are the in thing. Just say “hello” and “how are you.”
Don’t really take the time to sit, visit, and get to know another person.
Sometimes I think Satan is pleased with our busyness because it keeps us froms strong friendships and relationships which God wants us to have. Hope this helps some.
1. Friendship killers: broken confidence/trust, different expectations in the relationship, possessiveness (wanting to own another rather than valuing his/her uniqueness)
2. help with the practicalities of life, listen to my concerns, pray
thanks my love. Its great to be friends with you!
Thanks Nancy. Busy-ness creeps in in a hurry!
Lalpi observed that there is give and get in relationships. Our challenge is in seeing it from one perspective instead of both. Just “This is my friend because of what they give me.” or Just “This is my friend because of what I give them.”
1. What are the top friendship killers? What sabotages a friendship?
Top friendship killers: being judgemental, and basing a friendship on superficial ground, rather than a deep-seated admiration and committment.
2. When times were tough for you personally, what did friends do that really made a difference in your life?
The best of people knew when to speak an opinion and when to just sit quietly or help out around the house without needing to talk at all. Sometimes we just need to know they’re praying for us.