SOAP

When I’m hurt I…

/ Craig / Leave a comment

Scripture:  1 Peter 3:8-12

8Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10For

“Whoever desires to love life and see good days,

let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;

11let him turn away from evil and do good;

let him seek peace and pursue it.

12For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer.

But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Observations:

All of you: a general word to all the congregation.  Peter exhorts them to possess the following:
unity of mind
sympathy
brotherly love
a tender heart
a humble mind

Peter exhorts them to avoid seeking revenge.

Peter appeals to the wisdom of a life that God blesses: a good life that avoids pursuing evil and diligently pursues doing good in response to a watchful and very present God.

Application:

Getting hurt, offended, frustrated in the context of the community we call church is highly likely.  Revenge has many forms relationally, passive and active.  It is more than just indifference.  I wonder if a lot of “just disappearing” is sometimes a form of relational  revenge.  I wonder if the movement into “not caring” is a form of evil.

The Gospel presses me to follow Jesus into the life of a gathering of other followers of Jesus and learn “long-suffering” relationally.  Peter is incredibly realistic here.  He is suggesting that sometimes people in the church community do act badly relationally!  And the challenge for those of us on the receiving end of it is to not act badly in return.  He calls repaying evil for evil.  When I’ve been hurt by a brother or sister in Christ, unity, sympathy, love, a tender heart, and a humble mind go right out the window.  Unless, I look for Jesus the crucified extending His hands to each of us.  Only then can I find the courage to bless with His truth and grace.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, have mercy on us.  May the wind of your Spirit blow away the chaff.  May the warmth of your Word warm our hard hearts.  May Jesus be glorified in our churches.  AMEN.

The Gospel Empowered Husband

/ Craig / 1 Comment

Scripture:  1 Peter 3:7

7Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Observations:

Husbands, “Likewise”: living in response to the Gospel.

Live with your wife in an understanding way,

Showing honor to her.

Though she might be weaker than you, she is equal with you as an heir with you of the grace of life.

Mistreating your wife will hinder your prayers.

Application:

The husband living from the perspective knows that the Gospel creates equality at the foot of the cross.  He knows that both he and his wife need a Saviour.   He relates to his wife as one who is equally graced by Jesus and granted citizenship in His Kingdom.  The Gospel empowers a husband to seek to live with his wife in an understanding way.  Understanding and communicating that understanding requires work and time.

The Gospel compels each spouse to value oneness with their spouse and to make decisions that move them toward each other in love and appreciation.  Seeking understanding requires discipline and an open heart.  Learning to recognize when a  spouse makes a bid for a husband’s heart and shifting gears to let her in can be needs deep wells of grace.

The husband who decides to honouring his spouse will make 1000’s of persistent decisions to elevate the place of his wife in his life.  “Honouring your wife” means that she knows there is no one else taking her place.  Honouring your wife means that she comes up early in conversations with others.  Honouring your wife means that children and other family members do not get to divide and conquer.

Peter shows husbands that their attitudes and actions toward their wife impact the quality of conversation they have with God.  Truly no married man is an island.  The quality of his relationship with his wife impacts all of his life.  Jesus indicated that divorce is a product of hardness of heart.  Exam your heart:  To be hardhearted towards your wife may be an indicator of callousness towards God too.

Prayer:  

Heavenly Father, may my heart be tender toward you and the people you have give me to love, honour, and cherish.  May my wife know today, that she is loved.  AMEN.

The Gospel-Empowered Wife

/ Craig / Leave a comment

Scripture:  1 Peter 3:1-6

1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Observations:

Peter continues to apply the Gospel to the social “code” of significant relationships.

To the wife: Persist in respectful and pure conduct toward your husband — even if he is not yet a believer who obeys the word of God in the Gospel.

Develop the inner beauty of character as of greater value than outward beauty add-ons.

Sarah and Abraham.  Abraham was not a perfect husband!  And their marriage survived several storms: Abraham telling people that Sarah was his sister, because he was afraid her beauty would compromise his life (twice!).  Sarah dealing with infertility by giving Abraham her maidservant.  Waiting on the promise of God to be fulfilled.

Move forward doing good and not fearing anything that is frightening.

Application:

The Gospel-empowered woman wife finds her security and confidence in Christ.  She is able to choose publicly and privately to respect her husband in light of Jesus’ high value for her and for marriage.  The Scripture here is countering several relationally poisonous approaches to life:  managing relationships because of or through fear, seeking ultimate security in the stuff of earth by spending more time on beauty produces rather than character processes, the temptation to tear down our spouse rather than building them up, and seeking to control and use people for own place in life rather than truly loving them.

Peter is challenging the culturally accepted family system of the first century here by suggesting that one person (in this case the wife) changing her approach to sexuality and marriage in light of the Gospel can create the environment in which the whole family system and the husband can change.

By living under the immense weight of Jesus’ grace the wife’s strength and confidence in Christ shouts out to her husband and the world that she is of incredible worth.  What boundaries are redrawn when a women stands up for herself in the face of a scary man and suggests “I am not afraid?”  The possibility of violence makes us nervous.

Peter is calling on the Church as a community to reinforce the worth of women and men as individuals loved by God.  A man who is husband to a woman who is maturing in Christ will also find himself challenged to grow up.  We must not ignore the tension highlighted by the Gospel in the marriage dance of love and respect, leadership and honour, security and trust, faithfulness and forgiveness.  The church must call people out of the shadows and into the truth.  We are not all good at being a husband and being a wife all them time!  At times, my spouse needs grace to tolerate and love me. (Maybe a lot of the time!)

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, help us create the space in which women and men are so secure in their relationship with you through Jesus Christ who died for them and lives to love them, that they will love each other rather than use each other.  AMEN.

Healing for the Sin-Sick

/ Craig / Leave a comment

Scripture:  1 Peter 2:24-25

24He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 25For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Observations:

Jesus bore our sins on the cross.

So that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.

His wounds bring healing to us.

We were like lost sheep.

But now, we have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls.

Application:  Healing for the sin-sick.

Jesus said He was the good Shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep. (John 10)  He is healing our hearts so that we can die to sin and live to righteousness.  Righteousness has to do with our relationships.  Independence from God infects our relationships with sin and brokenness.  The consequences of sin can leave people washed up in a wake of destruction.  The “straying sheep” is living independent of God and for sure is leaning into his or her own way rather than the way of God (Proverbs 3:5-6).  The image of Jesus dying on the cross that we might live is a picture of enduring grace for our lives.  When I sin and infect my relationships with death, Jesus can lead me and the other person into the grace necessary for the healing of our souls.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, you have raised up Jesus as the Shepherd and Overseer of my soul.  Lead me into your grace for relationships today.  May I with you be a source of healing and life.  AMEN.

The Gospel for the Dissed

/ Craig / Leave a comment

Scripture:  1 Peter 2:21-25

21For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. 22He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 24He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 25For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Observations:

Jesus’ example of bearing up under suffering:
He committed no sin.
No deceit came from his mouth.
When he was reviled (dissed — disprespected), he did not revile (dis) in return.
He did not utter threats.

He entrusted himself to God who judges justly.

Application:

Strange thing.  If the “normal” reactions kick in, a person yelling at you on the phone will soon have you yelling too.  Shame me and I will shame you.  Dis me and I will dis you.  Yell at me and I will yell at you.  Threaten me and I will threaten you.  And so the cycle continues.

Moving into our relationships and this world with a perspective informed by the cross of Jesus transforms how we respond to mis-treatment.  Its a series of choices not just gut-reactions.  This is what the Gospel does for the “dissed:”  We can face the conflict with people without turning it into combat.  We can set boundaries that raise the level of respect required (like turning the other cheek and going the extra mile.)  We are to raise the bar on human behaviour.

Why?  Because we have entrusted ourselves to God who judges justly.  Why?  Because we have a Lord who suffered fools and folly for us at the cross.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father help!  Enlarge my vision of grace and the Gospel.  AMEN.