Broken Generation

People are still discussing the Macleans article “The Broken Generation.”  Why? Because the problem for students is real and there are people who care.  There is a campus crisis.  “A quarter of university age Canadians are dealing with mental illness, most often excessive stress, anxiety, and deep depression.”

Here’s an excerpt of the article:

Some problems are the natural ups and downs of life, like a bad mark or a sloppy roommate. There’s a question of whether today’s young adults are somehow less equipped to cope. “Not all pressures can be removed,” says Woolf, principal of Queen’s. “There is pressure just by going to university, or doing anything in life.” When he was in university in the 1970s, he recalls, students didn’t fret so much about their marks, or employment prospects after graduation.

“If we got a bad mark, it was ‘Too bad, on to the next one,’ ” Woolf says. “There’s a generation of students now—and I’m not saying it’s every student—but a tendency to want to be a winner in all that they do. They all get a trophy at field day; they all get a treat bag at the party; and then they get to university and suddenly find they’re now playing in a different league, and no longer necessarily the smartest in their class.” Woolf is quick to note that serious, long-term mental health struggles are a different matter.

The ability to cope is an acquired skill, and one that takes time to learn. “I speak to parents who insist their children not take summer jobs so they can go to summer school, to get the best marks,” says Trent University psychology professor James Parker, who holds the Canada Research Chair in Emotion and Health. “I say, ‘I’m not sure that’s the best strategy.’ ” It’s often at those summer jobs that kids learn resiliency: serving coffee, waiting on tables and dealing with demanding bosses and crabby customers. Overprotective parents may think they’re helping their kids, but once these kids arrive on campus, small problems can seem overwhelming.

Getting over the hurdles of life takes time for introspection, and that’s also in short supply. Students aren’t left alone with their thoughts on the bus to school or the walk across campus. They’re texting, listening to music, checking Facebook or Twitter, often all at once. There’s no time to mull over difficult, complicated emotions, and no immediate reason to do it, either.

Our team serving Born for More and Origin in the UBC campus community realize with other campus ministries that the issue of mental distress and illness must be brought out from the shadows.  I am pleased that Power To Change is hosting Tim Chan and Dr. Sharon Smith tonight at Wood 1 at UBC.  I encourage you to go and consider the information and the insight they have.  Tim will be sharing from personal experience and how his faith informed his journey through his depression. He has written about it on his blog.

When I’m hurt I…

Scripture:  1 Peter 3:8-12

8Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10For

“Whoever desires to love life and see good days,

let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;

11let him turn away from evil and do good;

let him seek peace and pursue it.

12For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer.

But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Observations:

All of you: a general word to all the congregation.  Peter exhorts them to possess the following:
unity of mind
sympathy
brotherly love
a tender heart
a humble mind

Peter exhorts them to avoid seeking revenge.

Peter appeals to the wisdom of a life that God blesses: a good life that avoids pursuing evil and diligently pursues doing good in response to a watchful and very present God.

Application:

Getting hurt, offended, frustrated in the context of the community we call church is highly likely.  Revenge has many forms relationally, passive and active.  It is more than just indifference.  I wonder if a lot of “just disappearing” is sometimes a form of relational  revenge.  I wonder if the movement into “not caring” is a form of evil.

The Gospel presses me to follow Jesus into the life of a gathering of other followers of Jesus and learn “long-suffering” relationally.  Peter is incredibly realistic here.  He is suggesting that sometimes people in the church community do act badly relationally!  And the challenge for those of us on the receiving end of it is to not act badly in return.  He calls repaying evil for evil.  When I’ve been hurt by a brother or sister in Christ, unity, sympathy, love, a tender heart, and a humble mind go right out the window.  Unless, I look for Jesus the crucified extending His hands to each of us.  Only then can I find the courage to bless with His truth and grace.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, have mercy on us.  May the wind of your Spirit blow away the chaff.  May the warmth of your Word warm our hard hearts.  May Jesus be glorified in our churches.  AMEN.

The Gospel Empowered Husband

Scripture:  1 Peter 3:7

7Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Observations:

Husbands, “Likewise”: living in response to the Gospel.

Live with your wife in an understanding way,

Showing honor to her.

Though she might be weaker than you, she is equal with you as an heir with you of the grace of life.

Mistreating your wife will hinder your prayers.

Application:

The husband living from the perspective knows that the Gospel creates equality at the foot of the cross.  He knows that both he and his wife need a Saviour.   He relates to his wife as one who is equally graced by Jesus and granted citizenship in His Kingdom.  The Gospel empowers a husband to seek to live with his wife in an understanding way.  Understanding and communicating that understanding requires work and time.

The Gospel compels each spouse to value oneness with their spouse and to make decisions that move them toward each other in love and appreciation.  Seeking understanding requires discipline and an open heart.  Learning to recognize when a  spouse makes a bid for a husband’s heart and shifting gears to let her in can be needs deep wells of grace.

The husband who decides to honouring his spouse will make 1000’s of persistent decisions to elevate the place of his wife in his life.  “Honouring your wife” means that she knows there is no one else taking her place.  Honouring your wife means that she comes up early in conversations with others.  Honouring your wife means that children and other family members do not get to divide and conquer.

Peter shows husbands that their attitudes and actions toward their wife impact the quality of conversation they have with God.  Truly no married man is an island.  The quality of his relationship with his wife impacts all of his life.  Jesus indicated that divorce is a product of hardness of heart.  Exam your heart:  To be hardhearted towards your wife may be an indicator of callousness towards God too.

Prayer:  

Heavenly Father, may my heart be tender toward you and the people you have give me to love, honour, and cherish.  May my wife know today, that she is loved.  AMEN.

The Gospel-Empowered Wife

Scripture:  1 Peter 3:1-6

1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Observations:

Peter continues to apply the Gospel to the social “code” of significant relationships.

To the wife: Persist in respectful and pure conduct toward your husband — even if he is not yet a believer who obeys the word of God in the Gospel.

Develop the inner beauty of character as of greater value than outward beauty add-ons.

Sarah and Abraham.  Abraham was not a perfect husband!  And their marriage survived several storms: Abraham telling people that Sarah was his sister, because he was afraid her beauty would compromise his life (twice!).  Sarah dealing with infertility by giving Abraham her maidservant.  Waiting on the promise of God to be fulfilled.

Move forward doing good and not fearing anything that is frightening.

Application:

The Gospel-empowered woman wife finds her security and confidence in Christ.  She is able to choose publicly and privately to respect her husband in light of Jesus’ high value for her and for marriage.  The Scripture here is countering several relationally poisonous approaches to life:  managing relationships because of or through fear, seeking ultimate security in the stuff of earth by spending more time on beauty produces rather than character processes, the temptation to tear down our spouse rather than building them up, and seeking to control and use people for own place in life rather than truly loving them.

Peter is challenging the culturally accepted family system of the first century here by suggesting that one person (in this case the wife) changing her approach to sexuality and marriage in light of the Gospel can create the environment in which the whole family system and the husband can change.

By living under the immense weight of Jesus’ grace the wife’s strength and confidence in Christ shouts out to her husband and the world that she is of incredible worth.  What boundaries are redrawn when a women stands up for herself in the face of a scary man and suggests “I am not afraid?”  The possibility of violence makes us nervous.

Peter is calling on the Church as a community to reinforce the worth of women and men as individuals loved by God.  A man who is husband to a woman who is maturing in Christ will also find himself challenged to grow up.  We must not ignore the tension highlighted by the Gospel in the marriage dance of love and respect, leadership and honour, security and trust, faithfulness and forgiveness.  The church must call people out of the shadows and into the truth.  We are not all good at being a husband and being a wife all them time!  At times, my spouse needs grace to tolerate and love me. (Maybe a lot of the time!)

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, help us create the space in which women and men are so secure in their relationship with you through Jesus Christ who died for them and lives to love them, that they will love each other rather than use each other.  AMEN.

Healing for the Sin-Sick

Scripture:  1 Peter 2:24-25

24He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 25For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Observations:

Jesus bore our sins on the cross.

So that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.

His wounds bring healing to us.

We were like lost sheep.

But now, we have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls.

Application:  Healing for the sin-sick.

Jesus said He was the good Shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep. (John 10)  He is healing our hearts so that we can die to sin and live to righteousness.  Righteousness has to do with our relationships.  Independence from God infects our relationships with sin and brokenness.  The consequences of sin can leave people washed up in a wake of destruction.  The “straying sheep” is living independent of God and for sure is leaning into his or her own way rather than the way of God (Proverbs 3:5-6).  The image of Jesus dying on the cross that we might live is a picture of enduring grace for our lives.  When I sin and infect my relationships with death, Jesus can lead me and the other person into the grace necessary for the healing of our souls.

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, you have raised up Jesus as the Shepherd and Overseer of my soul.  Lead me into your grace for relationships today.  May I with you be a source of healing and life.  AMEN.